Thursday, February 13, 2014

Last Day of 26

Last year, before turning 26 I wrote a post about what I'd learned while experiencing life as a 25-year-old.  I loved writing it and sharing my thoughts with you, so I decided to write another one! Enjoy, and, as always, thanks, for reading.

One of my favorite people in the world is Oprah.  Shocking, right? Since she's probably the favorite person of no less than 199 million people.  Oprah's column that she writes in O magazine, "What I Know For Sure" inspires me over and over again. And it prompts me to ask myself what do I know for sure to be true in my own life.  And, I may be on my own here, but I don't take this question lightly.  I don't consider answering it with a dismissive, playful reply about how I surely know I don't want to go to work tomorrow! 

No.

Since my 24th birthday, I've been grappling with the idea of what it means to be an adult and who I am as "adult Jewel." And since I'm still coming into adulthood, at the not-old age of 27 starting tomorrow, I'd say I'll probably be tweaking that image of "my adulthood" for a least a little while more. But it's such a relief to know that with every year that passes, even though I'm getting older (which I don't seem to hate as much as other people), I get even closer to learning what I know for sure, and finally being OK with it.  

To me, that's adulthood.  Knowing who you are, owning who you are.  As my adult role model, Beyonce says:  "I'm a grown woman.  I can do whatever I want."  Getting there, most definitely. 

At the end of 26, what I know for sure:

  • I'm not a morning person.  I like the idea of mornings.  I like the idea of waking up early enough to watch the sun gracefully lift itself into the sky.  I like the idea of putting on a cup of coffee, eating that breakfast with flax and oats and fruit, doing sun salutations to some gentle acoustic indie songstress, and then praying, reading, writing, singing, dancing, rejoicing, all for like two hours before you actually have to get s&*% done.  I LOVE that idea.  That IDEA, sounds and looks glorious, in my mind.  But that is not me. Nope.  I've been trying for 27 years to be a morning person, and it hasn't happened yet because while I love the idea of mornings, I don't enjoy ACTUAL mornings that begin before 10/10:30 AM.  However, coming up on 27, I am mature enough to acknowledge that I do not have enough time in my day to do everything I want to do.  Waking up an extra hour earlier, would help me be more productive.  So I've been working on that.  I'm not trying to become a morning person.  I will forever dislike mornings, probably.  I'm just trying to adjust my schedule.
  • There's nothing wrong with not "doing what you love."  It was actually Oprah, during her series finale, who told me that you have to find your passion and pursue it.  But it may be not your rent-payer or bill-payer. You may have to "do what you love"  part-time, or for free, or after work, or before work. I happen to love writing on this blog.  Ask me how much I get paid to do it.
  • Saving money, feels a lot better than spending money.  After a year where money was flying left and right to pay for the wedding, it's so great to see the dollar value rise instead of diminish on a bank account.
  • FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) is all in your mind.   I mentioned last year that I was mostly over social media, for a few reasons.  It's kind of boring, none of my REAL friends even contact me on social media, and yeah, it made me feel bad about myself sometimes. Yeah, I'll say it--sometimes going on Facebook made me feel like s&%T!  Since then I've cut down my Facebook usage (the only social media platform I use) to less than one hour per week, and I am much happier.  If you feel like you're struggling with comparison or FOMO, here is the key:  stop looking at what everyone else is doing.  Worry about yourself.  Focus on what you're doing and the people who are really in your life.  Your spouse.  Your children. Your siblings.  Your "real" friends--the ones you would CALL or TEXT if something wonderful or awful happened.  Don't focus on the ones who would only find out because of a status update.  And if for one second you feel that your life is so boring that you have to scroll through other people's profiles to get you to the next exciting point in your life, turn on the TV.  Seriously.  There's a lot of great stuff on there these days.  Even  "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" is way more thrilling than any of the stuff I've seen on Facebook.  And they're rich so...at least you'd get to look at nice cars and clothes.  And on that note...
  • What God has for me, is for me.  At 27, I finally understand why I don't want someone else's blessing. 
  • Not gonna elaborate, but six months ago there were a few specific aspects of my personality that I felt were more like obstacles to helping me reach a really important goal.  Now, after months of 1) trying to adopt pieces of other people's personalities; 2) making some progress in reaching my goal because I did that;  and 3) feeling frustrated because I wasn't being all the way true to myself, I've realized that I actually like those aspects of my personality that I wished weren't there.  And I learned that I didn't need to change my personality, but instead, I need to change my perspective on life and people. 
  • Ben and I, our marriage is just that--ours.  What God has for us, is for us.
  • I don't feel bad about skipping out on small talk.  I'm over talking about the weather, honestly.  If it's winter, it's gonna be cold.  Unless there's a blizzard, I don't want to hear about how it's cold again today...in winter.  Same goes for summer.  I could not care less about how humid you think it is.  We live in Virginia. 
  •  
And with that, here's to the late 20s.  Thank God I'm here.

Does this mean I officially have three years to get my s&*t together?  Hmm.