Monday, March 30, 2015

March-in Toward Better Days

Highlight amidst the low-lights.

I really don't know what it is about March, but my last GOOD March was in 2012, when Ben proposed to me and we spent the rest of the month telling our family and friends, dreaming of our wedding and basking in the awesomeness of life at that moment.

Since then...the month of March has been making a run for the position of "most hated month of the year," trying to steal the crown from January.  The evidence?  Well, let's take a look back at March 2013:

My sister was rejected as my kidney donor.  

My kidney function plummeted and my doctors started talking more and more about dialysis since I still didn't have a donor.

Then I prepared to start dialysis.  

That was March 2013.

March 2014 was the month that seemed to just fly by because everything and nothing happened.  Everything because I found out I contracted CMV.  And nothing because well, I couldn't exactly do much during that time.  

That brings us to March 2015.  For most of the month I've been battling a Urinary Tract Infection that will not leave (I'm actually on my third antibiotic right now) along with elevated creatinine levels.  And also the mind-games and fears that go along with knowing that if I could select a new life out of the "New Life Generator" that I would try to avoid picking a scenario where my body just refuses to function correctly.  

But I've watched "Back to the Future" enough times to know that when you alter any aspect of the future, it completely changes other areas of our past and present days.  So when I take that into consideration, I acknowledge that I'm pretty lucky.  Is my health always going to be a "thing"?  Yes.  But I have health insurance. And I have access to prescription medicines.  I have a family that will take care of me and visit me if I'm in the hospital. And I believe that God has the ability to make everything OK in the end.   If it's not OK, then it is not the end, right?

Anyway, great things seem to always happen in April.  So you know, as Jesse Jackson would say, keep hope alive.